Tag: groom

Wedding bells, now what can we sell?

Wedding bells, now what can we sell?

I always knew I wanted a small wedding party that would be filled with simple decorations and centerpieces, but I didn’t quite realize how much a wedding would cost even if I wanted it to be simple and small.

It has come to light that wedding loans have become popular, and in some cases the only option for couples, as the cost of weddings has skyrocketed.  So step aside, home loans, car loans, and student loans.  You have another loan to compete with.  The news has actually brought this to my attention more recently in these articles: Wedding Costs Skyrocket and Wedding Loans.  Not only that, but I have come to realize how many people so freely share their opinions once I got engaged to my fiancé.  People asked the first week if we had set a date as if fast-forwarding us through time.  While planning a wedding is a fun adventure it can also be overwhelming.  Everyone has an opinion on something, but sometimes you have to remember that you won’t be able to please everyone on your wedding day.  The more I think about it the more those words ring true not only with weddings, but with life!  While this blog post focuses on depicting the greed within the wedding industry, it by no means is meant to make anyone feel guilty about their own wedding, values, or choices.

The wedding industry has become one of the biggest industries filled with overpriced products and services that many people choose to buy.  From the venue to the photography to the catering and wedding dress, a wedding can quickly turn into the equivalent of buying a car, putting a down payment on a house, or traveling the world.

As I plan my own wedding or choose to elope I am finding it even more difficult to understand and stomach the costs associated with a wedding.  I live in small, rural America and even so it has been exceptionally difficult to find an affordable venue to host my special day.  A special day that I hope emphasizes simplicity, love, and beautiful memories for my guests. The first venue I looked at was $2,500 and that was actually with a fifty percent discount since I am getting married in March, which is often considered an off-season month.  I continued looking because this was higher than I wanted to spend.  I went on to look at others that charged $1,800, $4,600, and $1,000.

While a wedding is a very special day and in my opinion should be celebrated, it is ultimately about two people falling in love. For me personally, it isn’t about a grandiose reception, being in the spotlight (because I don’t like that), or spending an exorbitant amount of money for a one day event that may last 4 to 6 hours.  This is precisely what the wedding industry wants us to think and believe, and what they hope we will buy into (literally by forking out thousands upon thousands of dollars). That just isn’t who I am or what I stand for.  Don’t get me wrong I love gazing upon beautiful wedding pictures of close friends, family, or even strangers –  I enjoy their pretty flowers, and love seeing different color schemes, centerpieces, and wedding decor.  I am most certainly not here to judge the weddings of others or how much someone else chooses to spend on their special day.  Each person views and values a wedding differently.

However, I am finding it difficult to spend close to 10k or more on my own wedding, which is approximately what it costs for an average, normal ceremony and reception.  It also means you must budget well and cut corners when possible.  It concerns me mostly because there are so many people in the world that could use the money that are fighting to survive, charities doing phenomenal work all around the world, an endless number of places I would love to visit to learn about other cultures, including India to learn more about my own.  Hence, I am finding it incredibly difficult to overindulge myself (even on my wedding day).  How can I justify in my head spending so much on one day?

So am I eloping or throwing a small, non-traditional reception?  Only time will tell, but one thing is certain, if I find 10k is the best I can do to throw a small, non-traditional reception then I will elope and cherish the love I am celebrating.  That money can be used more productively based on my values and morals.  That’s because I know myself well enough that I would look back and feel bothered that I spent 10k for a one day, 4 to 6 hour reception that was really about two people going on an adventure called life together.  So if I host a reception you can guarantee it will be a very budgeted occasion that doesn’t overlook my values.

You just learned more about me than my website, Facebook page, or even meeting me in person may show.  One thing is for sure, I am luckier than I can even begin to imagine because I am able to consider whether I want to host a reception or elope.  It makes me more blessed than a lot of people in this world and for that I feel grateful for the life I get to live.  My advice is to be wise about what you choose is best and enjoy the adventure.

Feel free to let me know how you feel about the wedding industry.  How have you seen it change or evolve over the last decade, or since you got married?

~jj

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