Tag: friends

The mountains we call life!

The mountains we call life!

As if we haven’t heard it a thousand times that life is full of highs and lows and twists and turns.  It’s something our parents tell us, our teachers told us, and something you can hear and witness every single day.  Sometimes life seems glamorous when we are young (and, it certainly is at times and most definitely more times than not!), but it isn’t always glamorous.  And, it is important to teach your children this, your students this, and all the people around you this.  It makes that fall to the ground a little bit less painful in the end.

I am a new teacher surrounded by many veterans, but we all have bad days, the ones who are new and the ones that have tons of experience.  I was recently evaluated and the class didn’t really go as planned, not at all, not even a little bit.  It was stressful, chaotic, and more than anything it felt like a bit of a failure.  That day was you guessed it…a mountain.  But then again, in life, almost every single day is going to present you with a mountain (or hill) of some kind.  It’s the reality and we must come to accept that when we plan things out in our head and they go in a complete different direction we recognize it is as a learning experience and not a failure.  Now, not all people will lead you to believe this – you may not have friends, family, bosses, supervisors, leaders, or people that believe that a loss of profit, a bad decision, or a poor evaluation is a learning experience, but it is.

My evaluation did turn into a learning experience and a lesson to stick in my pocket.  It’s one I can carry with me.  That evaluation will make me a better person even if I would like to forget about it.  This leads to the last part.  I work with a wide range of students.  Some that have family and a great home and others that aren’t sure where they will sleep that night.  Students that eat out often and others that aren’t sure when their next meal will come.  It came at just the perfect time.  Less than 24 hours later I received a note about the impact I was having on several students.

What’s the point of sharing these highs and lows?  Because it’s life.  You can translate this to your own life, job, relationships, and chaos.  Life is full of moments where you feel like you have reached the peak of the mountain and feel like you have met success, but you will also find challenges and frustrations right around the corner.

~jj

#ProjectKindnessBook

#AlwaysChooseKindness

A new year of kindness!

A new year of kindness!

I just turned 29, which matters for a few reasons, but not for the reasons you might think.  It wasn’t really all about celebrating me, or eating lots of birthday cake.  Instead it was about completing my first full year of my #ProjectKindnessBook goal.  I have a picture of each random act of kindness for the 28 things I did to help change the lives of others throughout the previous 12 months.  I didn’t post very many of them on social media, and I didn’t count the things I did for friends or family as random acts of kindness.  In fact, I actually took the pictures to keep myself accountable and to serve as a reminder of the positive actions I have the ability to do for strangers and people I barely know.

Not only was it a time to wrap up my year of 28 random acts of kindness, but it also meant it was time to start my year of 29 random acts of kindness. It has helped remind me to give more, take less for granted, help strangers, and cherish what I am able to do for others.  My year of 28 random acts of kindness proved to be a bit difficult at times, probably because it was my first year.  My #ProjectKindnessBook initiative was a new thing for me and I wasn’t sure what type of random acts to do that would keep it anonymous.  By the end I had so many different ideas of what I could do, including an overabundance of ideas to use this year.  I now have many ideas on how I can give to strangers without identifying myself to get recognition or credit.

With only a few weeks into my year of 29 random acts of kindness I am farther ahead than I would have anticipated at this point.  The random acts I do are almost always for individuals and families rather than donations to causes or organizations because I hope to touch the heart of everyday people in the world – people of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, gender, and race.  My year 29 random acts of kindness will have a minimum of 29 different things I do, but by the looks of it thus far I will probably far outreach my goal which is a great thing.  That makes me happy because it means I am spreading more random acts of kindness out into the world.  I hope others will join me on my journey of giving back and spreading kindness all around us and throughout the world – no matter where you live.  Happy sprinkling random acts of kindness wherever you are!  View my Project Kindness page or visit my previous post What is #ProjectKindnessBook? to learn more.

~jj

#ProjectKindnessBook

#AlwaysChooseKindness

Wedding bells, now what can we sell?

Wedding bells, now what can we sell?

I always knew I wanted a small wedding party that would be filled with simple decorations and centerpieces, but I didn’t quite realize how much a wedding would cost even if I wanted it to be simple and small.

It has come to light that wedding loans have become popular, and in some cases the only option for couples, as the cost of weddings has skyrocketed.  So step aside, home loans, car loans, and student loans.  You have another loan to compete with.  The news has actually brought this to my attention more recently in these articles: Wedding Costs Skyrocket and Wedding Loans.  Not only that, but I have come to realize how many people so freely share their opinions once I got engaged to my fiancé.  People asked the first week if we had set a date as if fast-forwarding us through time.  While planning a wedding is a fun adventure it can also be overwhelming.  Everyone has an opinion on something, but sometimes you have to remember that you won’t be able to please everyone on your wedding day.  The more I think about it the more those words ring true not only with weddings, but with life!  While this blog post focuses on depicting the greed within the wedding industry, it by no means is meant to make anyone feel guilty about their own wedding, values, or choices.

The wedding industry has become one of the biggest industries filled with overpriced products and services that many people choose to buy.  From the venue to the photography to the catering and wedding dress, a wedding can quickly turn into the equivalent of buying a car, putting a down payment on a house, or traveling the world.

As I plan my own wedding or choose to elope I am finding it even more difficult to understand and stomach the costs associated with a wedding.  I live in small, rural America and even so it has been exceptionally difficult to find an affordable venue to host my special day.  A special day that I hope emphasizes simplicity, love, and beautiful memories for my guests. The first venue I looked at was $2,500 and that was actually with a fifty percent discount since I am getting married in March, which is often considered an off-season month.  I continued looking because this was higher than I wanted to spend.  I went on to look at others that charged $1,800, $4,600, and $1,000.

While a wedding is a very special day and in my opinion should be celebrated, it is ultimately about two people falling in love. For me personally, it isn’t about a grandiose reception, being in the spotlight (because I don’t like that), or spending an exorbitant amount of money for a one day event that may last 4 to 6 hours.  This is precisely what the wedding industry wants us to think and believe, and what they hope we will buy into (literally by forking out thousands upon thousands of dollars). That just isn’t who I am or what I stand for.  Don’t get me wrong I love gazing upon beautiful wedding pictures of close friends, family, or even strangers –  I enjoy their pretty flowers, and love seeing different color schemes, centerpieces, and wedding decor.  I am most certainly not here to judge the weddings of others or how much someone else chooses to spend on their special day.  Each person views and values a wedding differently.

However, I am finding it difficult to spend close to 10k or more on my own wedding, which is approximately what it costs for an average, normal ceremony and reception.  It also means you must budget well and cut corners when possible.  It concerns me mostly because there are so many people in the world that could use the money that are fighting to survive, charities doing phenomenal work all around the world, an endless number of places I would love to visit to learn about other cultures, including India to learn more about my own.  Hence, I am finding it incredibly difficult to overindulge myself (even on my wedding day).  How can I justify in my head spending so much on one day?

So am I eloping or throwing a small, non-traditional reception?  Only time will tell, but one thing is certain, if I find 10k is the best I can do to throw a small, non-traditional reception then I will elope and cherish the love I am celebrating.  That money can be used more productively based on my values and morals.  That’s because I know myself well enough that I would look back and feel bothered that I spent 10k for a one day, 4 to 6 hour reception that was really about two people going on an adventure called life together.  So if I host a reception you can guarantee it will be a very budgeted occasion that doesn’t overlook my values.

You just learned more about me than my website, Facebook page, or even meeting me in person may show.  One thing is for sure, I am luckier than I can even begin to imagine because I am able to consider whether I want to host a reception or elope.  It makes me more blessed than a lot of people in this world and for that I feel grateful for the life I get to live.  My advice is to be wise about what you choose is best and enjoy the adventure.

Feel free to let me know how you feel about the wedding industry.  How have you seen it change or evolve over the last decade, or since you got married?

~jj

#ProjectKindnessBook

#AlwaysChooseKindness

What will YOU do in 2016?

What will YOU do in 2016?

It is normal to set new goals and milestones at the beginning of the new year.  You may want to lose weight, eat more fruits and veggies, go to church, save more money, write more on your blog (ME!) 😉 and so on.  It can include anything you want to accomplish and do throughout the year. For me, one of my biggest goals is to publish a book I have been working on for almost two years. When it comes to health and well-being, there are many areas that you can focus on – social, emotional, environmental, spiritual, physical, and mental health.

Will you focus on your social health?  This comprises your friends, family, and interactions with others.  Will you sign up to be involved in new groups or events such as community development? Will you volunteer with local charity organizations?  Will you be planning a wedding or other special event?  Will you give selflessly to others through random acts of kindness?  All of these things make you active in ensuring you have a happy, healthy, and successful social component within your life.

Will you focus on your emotional health?  Do you handle stress and excitement appropriately?  Do you balance the spectrum of all emotions in a healthy way?  You may choose to work on emotional health by taking deep breaths when stressed, not “closeting” your feelings, listening to your heart and mind, and making decisions for yourself and how you feel rather than to please others.

Will you focus on your environmental health?  This means that you foster a positive work and personal environment.  Further, this includes preserving the water, air, and the land around you. Will you begin to recycle more this year?  That includes less waste such as paper products including paper plates, napkins, and printing unnecessary documents.  Will you reuse paper to prevent further waste in landfills?  Will you reduce water bottle usage by using reusable plastic bottles to decrease landfill wastes?  When you discuss land and air safety, this means you reduce harmful chemicals such as burning toxic wastes and disposing of chemicals in landfills.

Will you focus on your spiritual health?  This requires that you “talk the talk and also walk the walk.”  In other words, you have morals, values, and ethics that you follow to lead an honest life. Additionally, it means you encourage peace and harmonious relationships between yourself and others.  You may mediate, read about your belief system, pray, or attend a religious organization.

Will you focus on your physical health?  Will you exercise more this year?  Will you join a gym or participate in group exercise classes?  Are you training for a 5k, half marathon, or full marathon? This is probably one of my strengths when it comes to the six components of health.  I regularly exercise, take walks, and go outside to be active.  It helps me lower my stress level and makes me feel great.  This is particularly important to reduce health diseases such as heart problems, obesity, diabetes, and other health concerns that can be created from being overweight.

Will you focus on your mental (aka intellectual) health?  Will you improve your mood or attitude in 2016?  Will you work to cope better with your stress, anxiety, depression, or self-confidence and self-image?  Part of mental health is finding solutions to cope with your daily struggles.  It may mean reaching out for help, recognizing that those around you care, or changing the demands of your life to reduce the mental stress you are facing.

It is very important to find a balance of the six components of health and well-being.  Like me, you may find that you are strong in two to three of the six components.   If that is the case, that’s fantastic!  It means you can use 2016 as a way to focus on the ones that you are not as strong in. As for my book, it focuses on my mental/intellectual health, social health, and emotional health. Consider finding projects, activities, and events that will allow you to work on several components. For example, participating in group fitness classes will focus on your physical, social, and possibly spiritual and emotional well-being.  Spiritual well-being through mediation or yoga, and emotional well-being to reduce stress.  You can work to improve components that you struggle with to find a better balance to lead a healthier and happier 2016!

~jj

#ProjectKindnessBook

#AlwaysChooseKindness

Holidays…family, friends, and FOOD!

Holidays…family, friends, and FOOD!

This is the weight-gaining, cookie-eating, mouth-stuffing time of the year!  It’s the time of the year when people eat cookies, cupcakes, chips, dips, and other sugary and salty foods.  It’s the time of the year when diets seem to be filled with more junk food than fruits and veggies.  It’s the time of the year when there are parties, potlucks, and events.   And, it’s the time of the year when health educators and counselors know what to expect come January when New Year’s resolutions come around!

I am getting ready to cook my “gluten free” Thanksgiving this weekend so that I can actually enjoy it!  Otherwise the day of Thanksgiving I get stuck with meat and potatoes without all the other lovely sides that fill the Thanksgiving table (but are often filled with gluten)!

As a way to cut back on fat and to reduce the calories in my gluten free dishes I will be making roasted brussels sprouts and corn with a couple of slices of bacon rather than a corn casserole or corn pudding which are filled with heavy cream, cream soups, and other fattening additives.  This is a great way to reduce fat and calories while still having great flavor.  The bacon will provide flavor along with chili powder, but since the two bacon slices will be divided among 6 people the amount consumed is very little.

My homemade mashed potatoes will feature part cauliflower.  That may sound awful to some, but I promise you won’t taste the cauliflower and it will save a ton of calories!  I will also use potatoes, but I will combine them with cauliflower to reduce the calories and add some veggies.  I will use reduced sodium, reduced fat cream cheese or greek yogurt to add creaminess to the potatoes.

I will not have bread since I will be making cornbread stuffing.  I made cornbread with reduced fat milk and will make the stuffing using reduced sodium chicken broth.   To save calories, it is great to consider how many “bready” sides or carbohydrate sides you will serve with your Thanksgiving dinner.  Consider having stuffing or bread, pie or cake, with more sides filled with veggies or fruits (i.e. brussel sprouts, corn, green beans, cranberries, mixed fruit, sweet potatoes – healthier than regular potatoes).

If your family does a green bean casserole each year consider roasted green beans, grilled green beans (these are delicious!), or pan seared green beans to cut back on the creamy soups, butter, and fried onions that are all high in calories.

Remember to fill your plates with more veggies than “bready” items and when you go back for seconds fill up on the veggie sides rather than more stuffing, bread, pie, and other high calorie dishes.  Oh, and take a quick walk before or after dinner so your food doesn’t sit in your stomach all day or all night.  You will thank yourself later when your food has a chance to digest rather than sit and make you feel miserable all night! 🙂

Happy eating, enjoy spending time with your friends and family, and have fun making new memories that you will remember forever!

~jj

#ProjectKindnessBook

#AlwaysChooseKindness

BBQs, Restaurants, and Parties, Oh My!

BBQs, Restaurants, and Parties, Oh My!

The weather is starting to change for many of us and as we transition into warmer days and higher temperatures, it often means getting together with friends and family for BBQs, potlucks, picnics, graduation parties, and outings/events that have finger foods and appetizers.  While all this is great and provides lasting memories, remember that potlucks and parties also mean added calories.  Spring and summer are often the time for family get togethers and reunions, graduation parties, and BBQs, but it also means buffet style eating which equates to lots of food.  Frequently, these types of gatherings mean grazing on appetizers and snacks followed by a large buffet style meal and ice cream, popsicles, trifle and punch bowl cakes, cookies, cheesecakes, and lots of delightful summer favorites for dessert.

Some great ways to cut back and lighten BBQs, potlucks, picnics, and graduation parties is to have fruits and veggies only as your appetizers to reduce the extra calories that chips, cheese dips, pretzels, etc have.  If you want dips, consider veggie dip, hummus, and fruit dip.  These can be enjoyed with fruits and veggies and prevents unnecessary salty foods for dippers.  If you are having a potluck style get together, plan out the meal so that you have a balance of sides that are healthy.  You might consider limiting the number of sides to 3 and ask guests to refrain from bringing chips, pretzels, etc and help with drinks, paper plates, napkins, etc to fulfill the list of what is needed.  Another great way to help with portion control is to not leave the actual meal and sides out all day.  While grazing makes it feel like a fun party atmosphere, consider leaving food out for a specific amount of time.  For example, 11:30-1 for a midday gathering and 6-7:30 for an evening get together.  It is nice to allow guests to graze, but leaving food out all day can be unnecessary.   I realize you want to make parties enjoyable for your guests, but I PROMISE that guests will thank you later for not ruining their diet, making them feel miserable from overeating, and preventing a high calorie meal that they feel guilty about the next day!  Consider keeping your more healthy options out all day, like fruits and veggies, if you feel the need to have something for your guests at all times.  Go ahead and put away the main meal such as brats, hot dogs, burgers, pasta salad, potato salad, corn on the cob, french fries, tator tots, etc to prevent grazing all afternoon and evening.

The next obstacle to tackle during spring is how often you eat out!  You may want to put a limit on the number of times you eat out each day and each week.  During the winter, we often tend to curl up at home and make comfort meals to enjoy, but once the weather changes, there is often a spike in how frequently people eat out.  The weather is nicer so you enjoy being out more.  A great way to combat eating out too much is to set goals for yourself.  For example, don’t allow yourself to eat out more than once per day and more than X times per week.  Personally, I typically try to allow myself to eat out one lunch and one dinner during the week (Monday – Friday).  During the weekend, I try to eat no more than two complete meals out.  Try to look up calories and nutrition on restaurant websites when possible and consider hidden calories such as salad dressings.  Remember that foods in restaurants often have extra additives, may be overly processed foods, and typically have higher caloric counts than home cooked meals.

Don’t forget about the alcohol at parties.  Often outdoor BBQs and parties have alcoholic drinks or even virgin drinks that are high in sugar and calories.  These calories count, too!  You don’t want to have 3 sugary, high caloric drinks, appetizers, a large buffet meal, and dessert at a party and end up eating two meals at one time!  That can destroy your progress!  I understand the hard choices that summer BBQs, parties, potlucks, and picnics present, but remember you can enjoy it all in MODERATION (and by using some or all of these tips!) 😉

~jj

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